As my dad and I were walking back to the car after my grandfather's funeral dinner today, he gave me one of those father/son talks.
"You know you're really the man of the house now, right?"I really love my dad a lot more than I thought I would when I was in High School. The patrimony he's given me is so much more valuable that anything Astor's son could be chasing. He taught me what it is to endure and persevere. How many Bible Studies have failed at teaching that? How many children grow up without ever knowing that? But my father, a atheist limo-cab driver, weekend plumber, electrician, carpenter, has taught me that.
"Yeah, I know."
"You can't say things like 'I'm too young.' or 'I want to stay a kid.' because you'll be a man before you know it."
"I know, dad."
"One day you'll have to make these arrangements for me too you know."
"Yes, dad."
"You'll be a good man."
"I know I will."
He taught me that there are times when costs must be paid. So many people fail that I talk to, so many people that I have considered mentors at one point or another, do not understand that. There are things that I would gladly pay for with health, career, even so much as life. There are things that are so much more important than any of those three and even all of those three together. My father helped me learn what it meant to be like Jesus.
As my discipleship group was talking this Sunday about the future, about becoming husbands and fathers, Dennis, newly-engaged to Cindy as he is, spoke about the worries he had about how his yet-to-be-children would turn out. Would they be Christians? Would they be faithful? Will too much church make them cynical?
Who knows? All we can do is be faithful ourselves. From my father, I see that for the things that truly matter in life, example is the best teacher. I saw how faithful he was to my mother all these years, how he always honored, respected and loved her. He taught me how to treat women well. He taught me how to spot thieves, crooks and scams. 20 years of being harassed for nothing more than being Chinese has given him sharp eyes and a sharp mind. He has given me such unimaginable wealth.
I'm confident that I will raise good kids one day too. But I want to give them even more than my father has given me. I want to teach them how to love Jesus, how to live for Him and if I have the privilege, how to die for Him.
My life is a resource, nothing more. It's not very liquid and it continually depreciates. If I do not use it, I will lose it. I am going to spend it wildly and wisely. I am going to pour all that I am into the work of the Gospel and Kingdom advancement.
In retrospect, I am not a typical Asian man because I did not have typical Asian parents. They told me that they would be fine if I were a pastor (anathema!), a missionary (blasphemy!) or if I never made a lot of money (apostasy!). My father never had an obsession of gadgets or things as so many Asian men are afflicted. He never felt the need to impress other people with fine clothes (not that he knows what fine clothes are) or cars. My father, surprisingly enough, gets along fine with the Mexicans and Pakistanis at the garage unlike I suppose the majority of Asians who cloister themselves in their own homogeneous communities. Looking back, I guess it should be no surprise at all that my closest friends come from the world over. IV-Baruch, I love you guys.
My father may still be living these days but sometimes I feel as if I'm a prodigal son already living out his portion of the inheritance. I am very blessed. I have some big shoes to fill.
