Parable

Gather around and hear ye the parable of the man with a stick in his butt. (Tale reconstructed from memory. Not original work. Paraphrased from the HBI.)

In a time not too long ago, and in a place not too far away, there was a man without a spine. Because he had no spine, he could not stand as others did. As you may imagine, he was often stepped on and overlooked, much like a worm. People, when they found him, found him pleasant enough as a person for having no spine, he could take on any form or shape they wished. If his friends were smart, he could twist himself into the shape of smart. Or if they were trendy, he could twist himself into that shape too. But this man without a spine could not find love.

You see, when he found someone interesting he would try to wrap himself around them. What a suffocating situation! The women could not stand such clinginess. With much struggle and hardship, they pulled this man off and left him on the floor weeping and bemoaning his existence.

After having been thrown aside enough times, this man decided that he must have a spine for himself if he wanted to know what love was like. But no one was willing to give him their own spine! "If I gave you my spine, how would I stand up?" they cried. Oh, the poor, little spineless man! What would he do?

He did the only thing he could do. He shoved a stick up his butt. It was very painful. And it didn't look quite right. No one stands like that. And people with spines could bend sometimes. Not so, the spineless man now. He was rigid. Stiff. And people didn't like him as much anymore. Before, he could wrap himself around any idea or shape. Now, he would not bend to anyone's wishes. He was much lonelier now. And much colder now.

But no one stepped on him.

So as lonely and as cold as things were, this was an improvement. Having the imitation of a spine was much preferable to having nothing to hold him up.

No one stepped on this man anymore. Before others would walk all over him without even knowing about it. He realized that no one heard his cries for help. They simply thought, when they thought of him, that he was just another worm in the ground. "Plenty of worms!", they thought.

Yet the man with the stick up his butt still could not find love. He looked here and he looked there, but who could love such a rigid, unbending man? He was certainly more respected. And he certainly thought that this was better than before but he was still miserable.

So he lost hope. Perhaps God hates those who have no spines. "God, why did you make me like this?" cried the man. "God, am I doomed to be alone forever?" he asked an empty sky.

But one day, he found the greatest woman in the world. She was beautiful, yes, but you see, beauty is common. This man lived in New York City, where many women believe they are princesses and dress accordingly. He had seen beauty before. But this woman was also intelligent, kind-hearted, strong and not intimidated by any man. Being such an amazing woman, she could not tolerate most men who lost their spines in the presence of her capability and became placating, appeasing slimes like the man before.

Did God send this woman to torment the man? Is God's humor blacker than the Devil's? These thoughts raced through the man's mind. The man would not be mocked by anyone, not even God himself! "Not even God will laugh at me!" screamed the man in the vast expanse of his interior world.

"Would you like to have coffee with me?" asked the man to the woman.

Over a battlefield of combat-ready coffee cups, barbed-wire biscottis and heat-seeking scones the two launched salvos of opinions and ideas.

This woman had reduced many a man's spine to mush before. She wondered how this man could be so firm in his convictions and sincere in his passions. From where did all this prodigious resilience originate? Men had by this time, offered to buy drinks or expensive gifts for her. He had not bent an inch!

But the man too wondered at the woman. He could not understand how this woman could withstand the force of his personality. Other women were driven away by his rigidity. He had learned to love and care about himself. The women wanted someone to think of them and worship them only. But he grew wise and saw that such women were cannibals who consumed such men. This woman knew who she was and needed no worshippers, but his mind could not grasp such a thought.

And so he tried to bend again. Oh, it was very hard for you see the soul becomes quite stiff when it stays still. And it becomes quite formless when it continually moves. But he tried to bend again and suddenly, he did. What had happened to the stick?

The stick was the first thing that ever gave this man's body a true shape. It was not perfect, but it did the job. The body, you see, is a marvelous thing. It grows and it adapts. It took what the stick started and worked around it. Soon enough, the body grew its own spine, and the stick was no longer.

But it was just as strong as the stick. And the woman saw this. Finally, the man found love. He did not find it when he found the woman. The woman found it in him when he finally found his own strength.

You see children, a man without a spine cannot be loved. He can be liked quite easily enough. Everyone likes dogs. But who sees a dog as an equal and a partner in life? Who can trust a dog with their heart, soul, mind, children, dreams, expectations, hurts, fears, failures, tears? What can a dog do for a person besides stare up with dumb, uncomprehending eyes? To be liked is far different than to be loved.

Children, do you know who the man in the story is?